cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
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He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
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I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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