I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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