u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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