I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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