so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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