Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize