Kareoke will never be a sober sport
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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