What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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