Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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