I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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