I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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