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last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
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