he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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