How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize