Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
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he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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