The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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