Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize