Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize