i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
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The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize