Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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