i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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