last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just pee around me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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