True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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