3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize