i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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