Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
farters have to be the big spoon...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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