youre lurking in front of me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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