I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize