You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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