highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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