dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
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We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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