I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You smell like stripper and shame
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize