oh god the rape fog is back!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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