All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize