did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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