Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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