your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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