If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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