nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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