I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize