well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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