I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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