when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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