I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize