Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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