i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize