Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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