people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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