very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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