I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize